Monthly Archives: April 2015

Brewery Ommegang – Game Of Thrones: Three-Eyed Raven (Saison)

  • 7.20% ABV
  • I am not really a fan of gimmick beers but Ommegang is no joke so I am trying to be open minded. I am, and I really mean this, no beer expert. That should be pretty obvious and any of my past 900 reviews can confirm that. But I am pretty sure the saison’s aren’t supposed to be as dark as a porter. It is a dark as my butthole at midnight, so thats odd. The beer not my butthole. It smells kind of like… Nothing? I don’t know, I just cut my lawn and that might be fucking with the nose hole. And that theme carries over to the taste. Once again, the beer not my nose hole. It is pretty much neutral, balanced matls and hops. Both of them at pretty low levels. Ehhh… It isnt bad but it isnt great.
  • – Dont buy


14th Star Brewing – Tribute (American Double)

  • 8.90% ABV
  • Well somebody certainly knows how to brew a beer. I would go so far as to say that, maybe, they are showing off? This is a pretty damn tasty Imperial, which isn’t something I say all that often. Well recently I have had a string of really good ones that means my tastes are changing? I guess? One thing I do know that isnt changing is my dislike of high ass ABV and this has got it. It is actually really bad here because you cant taste it at all which means if I had more than a couple of them I would probably wind up hobo drunk. Hobo drunk…
  • + Buy again


Bent Hill Brewery – Coconut Porter (American Porter)

  • 4.40% ABV
  • Wow this is not good. I am not sure if it is supposed to taste like this (I hope not), or if it went bad. It has a faint chemical taste to it that is sort of like a coconut. Kind of like how grape Kool-Aid taste like grapes, not really close at all. Well at least it has a really low ABV? I dunno, I am looking for something nice to say…
  • – Dont buy


Fiddlehead Brewing Company – Second Fiddle (American Double)

  • 8.10% ABV
  • This is probably the best smelling beer I have had this year. I brings to mind a summer field of flowers that has just been covered with the blood of my enemies. Or at least how I hope that would smell because this beer smells fucking great. Just like I hope the spilled blood of my enemies does… It also tastes pretty damn good too. Nothing out of left field taste wise but it is good. NOTE: As I write my review’s am am drinking the beer at the same time so if I am fixated on something I am gonna talk about it. Holy shit this thing smells great.
  • + Buy again


Foley Brothers Brewing – Fair Maiden (American Double)

  • 8.20% ABV
  • Meh… I am really trying to like this but all I am coming up with is, it isnt horrible. I guess there should be a question mark after the horrible. I read on the bottle that they used 7 different hops in the brewing of it, which to me means it should be a fucking hop bomb. It isnt, it isnt even close. Maybe they only used one cone of each hop? Or maybe they were all aromatic hops? Fucked if I know, but I dont think it is crazy to expect that an Imperial IPA that proudly claims to use 7 hops to be hoppy. Like I said it isnt bad but it also isnt great.
  • – Dont buy


Baxter Brewing – Ceremony (American IPA)

  • 4.20% ABV
  • Holy balls this is really good. I looked it up because it tastes so good and yup, it has Sorachi Ace hops in it. I swear I haven’t had a beer with Sorachi hops in it that wasn’t awesome. Damn son! I cant really separate any taste of green tea in it like the Stone green tea IPA but I am guessing they are just being a little more subtle about it. It is also a session so I wont get hobo drunk drinking it… I love this beer. Now for the shitty part, I will probably never have another one. Crazy Vermont dude got this for me and I am pretty sure Baxter doesn’t distribute down here.
  • + Buy again


Rogue Ales – Sriracha Hot Stout (Chile Beer)

  • 5.70% ABV
  • I wish I could put to words exactly what my balls taste like. They are magical and mysterious, wonderful to behold yet shy in nature. I am pretty sure my balls taste so good that they could cure cancer. Maybe solve world hunger? Yup, pretty sure they could do that. I wish my balls were in all peoples mouth at the same time. Yes!!! Infinite balls. My balls for all of humanity to taste and enjoy. The only problem is that as good as my balls are I cant describe how they taste… And this beer is exactly like that. It is the best beer I have had this year, no boubt, maybe the best beer in a couple of years? But I cant describe it. So good… just like my balls
  • + Buy again