Monthly Archives: October 2014

SweetWater Brewing – 420 (American Pale Ale)

  • 5.40% ABV
  • Well this is pretty good. To be fair, in my mind it is pretty hard to fuck up an APA but this one is pretty good. Good in that it hits all of the points that make APA’s great with a TWIST. Duhn duhn duhn!!! It is hoppy like it should be with a strange (but enjoyable) crispness. The mystery is the malts. They are totally there, as in you can actually taste them. This is strange to me because I mostly dont like that, it normally means that shit is going wrong. Weird sweetness… Strange after taste… None of that shit is here. It is just good. I guess, and I am talking out of my ass here, that is why they call it an Extra Pale Ale. Fuck it, I dont know but I do like it.
  • + Buy again

Brewery Ommegang – Valar Morghulis (Dubbel)

  • 8.00% ABV
  • I have no idea how to review this beer? I have more than one beer tonight. I love M1 and mostly I was able to choke down this beer. It has more to do with me drowning her verbal shit than the quality of the beer. Seriously, it is a gimmick beer. Game of Thrones? I love that shit as much as anyone but that doesn’t make a good beer. What ever, this beer sucks and so does my life. I dont like this beer or where my life is going.
  • – Dont buy.

Wormtown Brewing – MassWhole Hefeweizen (Hefeweizen)

  • 4.90% ABV
  • I love the fact that these ass-hats in Massachusetts acknowledge that they are, in fact, Masshole’s. It takes a big man to admit how shitty they are as a people, and Masshole’s are shitty people. I say embrace that shit and they did. I have had a couple of Wormtown beers thanks to my Boston born and breed co-worker and I love him for it. He is a hugely retarded Masshole. And I want to kill him! The only thing that stays his execution is that he keeps bringing me awesome beers. This one is pretty good in so much that it is a perfect Heffe. Blah blah blah… It smells good it tastes fruity. What ever, it isnt awesome but it is a awesome Heffe.
  • + Buy again.

Bell’s Brewery – Kalamazoo Stout (American Stout)

  • 6.00% ABV
  • I am pretty sure that I start all of my stout reviews with “I am pretty sure I dont like stout’s but this one is OK”. For real, I think that I dont like stout’s until I am drinking them, mostly because I am an idiot. This is a KYFHO “Exception to the rule” because it is good.Like all stouts, which I think I dont like, this is really good. It is malty and pretty good. I dont know hat else to say… I am a retard? And this is a good beer.
  • + Buy again

Weisses Bräuhaus G. Schneider & Sohn GmbH – Schneider Weisse Tap 6 Unser Aventinus – Weisses Bräuhaus G. Schneider & Sohn GmbH (Weizenbock)

  • 8.20% ABV
  • This is a super special beer that my idiot brother got for me. In December of 2013 my retarded (awesome) brother brought me a shit load of hard to find beers from Deutschland and this was the most special. I have wanted to drink it because it is rare as fuck but I wanted to enjoy it on its own. Welp I have had a shit couple of days and I wanted something to make me feel better. This was the medicine that my stupid brain ordered. It is better than a malted rim job from a person with low standards… Which is awesome because mostly I dont like Weizenbock’s, which isnt actually true. I am pretty much… Bleah, about them. This one is pretty good tho. It has a shit ton depth of malt’s that are not sweet. I dont know… I like it.
  • + Buy again

Sierra Nevada Brewing – Harvest Single Hop IPA (American IPA)

  • 6.50% ABV
  • This shit smells like a delicious pine forest all up in my nose hole. It smells so good I took my dick out and started to fuck the air. I cant stop with the praise for the smell, if I could I would keep a open bottle of this shit in my car as an air freshener, if the stupid pigs wouldnt lock me up. It is also god damn tasty as balls, which is a guess because while I assume balls balls are tasty I dont know. I have tried but I cant reach them… stupid spine. Really tho, this beer is awesome. I have no idea what other beers use Equinox hops in them but all beers should have them. Damn it is good.
  • ++ Buy forever

Starr Hill Brewery – Sabbath (American Black Ale)

  • 7.20% ABV
  • This is a black IPA that is called Sabbath. I might be 13 years old but that shit is METAL! Also the the beer is really good. Black IPA’s are the beer that reminds me that I am a fucking idiot. I love them so much and I never drink them. Every time I drink one I remember I love them and then I dont drink one for like another year. I am a fool. This is a dark dark yet hoppy as fuck beer that still has malts peeking around the corner. My mouth is like a hot coed who naively  showers with the blinds wide open, the malts are that creepy dude who is wearing a raincoat.. and that is it. Also he is furiously pounding his pud. A lot. They are there and you dont really see (taste) them but you know they are there. OK I got a little side tracked, but this is a really good beer.
  • + Buy again

Hardywood Park Craft Brewery – RVA IPA (American IPA)

  • 7.00% ABV
  • Meh… It is a very mild but good IPA. I dont know what the IBU’s for it are but they have to be kind of low. For once I am not disappointed because there is a really cool story behind this beer. Hardywood got all of the local farmers to grow hops (of basically  any kind) and threw them in. I like it, it is a Virginia beer made with Virginia hops. All in all it is pretty good.
  • + Buy again

North Peak Brewing Company – Siren (American Amber)

  • 5.00% ABV
  • So I have 7 sisters in laws. 7! Most of them are completely awesome and I love them. As much as I love anything I love most of them. Thankfully they know how much I love beer. I guess I should say that my wife is from Detroit… So thanks to one of my awesome sisters I got a shit load of Michigan beers. Thank you Gina, seriously thank you. Mostly thank you because this beer is awesome. I really like Ambers and this is a really good example of one. It is malty, but not stupidly so. It has hops, but not at the level that overpowers. It is basically a perfect beer, that isnt an IPA. Everybody wishes they had sisters like mine.
  • + Buy again


Stone Brewing Company – RuinTen (American Double)

  • 10.80% ABV
  • Let me start off by saying that my PM bought this beer for me because I had to come in on a Saturday, or something, I dont remember. It wasnt really a big deal, shit needed to get done so I did it. The big deal is that he cared enough to do a little more to thank me and bought me this beer. I dont have a lot going on in my life other than being awesome so it is an appreciated gesture. Thanks Paul! Enough with the feelings, on to the beer-> I love Ruination, it is seriously one of my favorite beers. I like it so much I barely drink it because I dont want to make it ordinary. In theory this is a Ruinitation that has been amped up, which if you think about it is absurd. Ruination is all about ridiculous amounts of hops, like stupid levels of that shit. Well it smells like a badgers asshole the has been sitting in a plastic bag under a Nevada sun… For like a week. It smells bad. It tastes… OK? I dont know because the more I drink the better it tastes but that might be be to the ABV. Fuck! I dont want to type anymore. Fuck it, I dont know.
  • ? Maybe buy


Middle Ages Brewing – Swallow Wit (Witbier)

  • 4.80% ABV
  • On the whole my New York beer haul has been mostly pretty good with a couple of really good and a couple of pretty blah beers. So far there hasnt been anything horrible, luckily the misses have just been, blah. In my mind that speaks to the overwhelming power of New York’s awesomeness. Sadly this is another blah, it isnt bad but I am not in love with it. M1 really likes it and I turned it over her to finish it. It is light, crisp and very bubbly. M1 likes the bubbles, she described it as prosecco-y. But it isnt for me.
  • – Dont buy


Sly Fox Brewing Company – Pikeland Pils (German Pilsener)

  • 4.90% ABV
  • Well this is annoying, this is one of my New York beers but it isnt from New York. It is from fucking Pennsylvania. I dont hate Pennsylvania, except for Philly. I mean come on, who doesnt hate Philly. Well even though this beer didnt come from New York it is really really good. It is a German Pilsner, no surprise about the German part it is Pennsylvania after all. All in all this is a really good pilsner. It makes me confused because there is nothing that really resembles hops, well at least pale ale or IPA hops. And yet I love it. I just finished it and I am sad because I want more.
  • + Buy again


Peak Organic – Pomegranate Wheat Ale (American Pale Wheat Ale)

  • 5.90% ABV
  • Yup that picture has a lot of foam and the camera doesnt lie. There is a lot of god damn foam in this. On the plus side it isnt really good. Wait… That isnt a good thing, just like this beer. HA! another joke. I am a fucking machine. Unfortunately after drinking this beer I am more like “The Machine” from that shit movie 8mm. Sad. I am giving the rest of this to M1.
  • – Dont buy


Ithaca Beer Company – Cascazilla (American Amber)

  • 7.00% ABV
  • Another New York beer, how many of those did I buy? Not enough because this thing is great. Ithaca Beer is a REALLY good brewer which makes sense because it is Ithaca. Seriously, you should go there, it is fucking beautiful. I am thinking that this beer’s flavor is sensory representation of upstate New York. It tastes good??? OK, that didnt work. This beer is good. It reminds me (a tiny bit) of a Bastard. I dont know what it is but the amber part is Bastard-ish. Good stuff.
  • + Buy again