Monthly Archives: July 2012

The Kernel Brewery – IPA Black (American Black Ale)

  • 6.80% ABV
  • So thanks to Dustard for bringing back a super rare beer from London. It is good to have friends that travel. When he got it he told me it is on par with Pliney the Elder which I thought was unlikely, but holy shit was he right, this thing is unreal. It is very very smooth with a bitterness that while not being overpowering is still easily noticeable. Man this thing is good. I would go on about how good it is but it isnt like I will ever have another one.
  • + Buy again


Fish Brewing Company – Swordfish (American Black Ale)

  • 7.50% ABV
  • As I just told M1, I am getting a little tired of Black IPA’s. I still like them a lot but they just dont make feel all sparkly any more. I am no longer being mouth sexed by Twilight vampires. I dont know this is good but it isnt so good that I am going to try and do a cartwheel. It is still pretty good for a Black IPA.
  • + Buy again.


Avery Brewing Company – Samael’s Ale (English Barleywine)

  • 16.45% ABV
  • Well I am pretty sure this is the highest ABV beer I have had yet and it is FUCKING HORRIBLE!. Holy shit this is so bad I want to go find a small child and beat a nun to death with the small child. I want to set fire to my left leg and then use the charred stump to write hate letters to Bea Arthurs corpse. I am positive that all of the things I fucking hate in this world got together and formed a secret society and the sole purpose of that evil cabal is to make me hate being alive. This fucking beer is their instrument of my demise. This is either the seventh or eighth beer I have poured out, I dont know I have had over 700 beers now, I lose track. Shit this is bad.
  • – Dont buy


DuClaw Brewing Company – Exile 5 (American IPA)

  • 7.20% ABV
  • Holy crap this is a strange and delicious beer. Made with rice and Sorachi hops, which is strange. I guess the way DuClaw brewed with the rice gives it a very crisp taste, add to that the Sorachi and you get a really crisp beer. Wow, this is good. It is very different tasting from the Dogfish Sorache Ace (which is still one of my favourite beers) but almost as good.
  • + Buy again


Lost Coast Brewery – Alleycat Amber (American Amber)

  • 5.50% ABV
  • I generally dont like American Amber’s because they dont taste like very much me. I smoke a lot and I need a full on assault of the taste buds to feel anything in my mouth hole. That kind of puts most subtle beer styles in to place that I cant appreciate. This totally falls into that category, I think I like it but I cant really be sure.
  • – Dont buy


Brouwerij Lindemans – Lindemans PĂȘche (Lambic)

  • 4.00% ABV
  • For some strange ass reason this is the first Lambic I have had. Well, the first true Lambic but I have had but I have had plenty of fruit beers that are very similar.. The difference is that the Fruit beers have had a touch of bitter in them that this doesnt. This really tastes like a kids drink. Like a Capri Sun or some shit. I dont know anything other than this is awesome. It is incredibly smooth and it almost doesnt even taste like a beer… But it is… So good and so peachey. I love it.
  • + Buy again


New Belgium Brewing – Somersault (American Blonde Ale)

  • 5.20% ABV
  • This is a REALLY good American Blonde. It is actually the best best American Blonde I have ever had. It is so good that I want other people to try it. And that is pretty much a flawed statement because normally I hate American Blondes, not because they are bad but they really are not my style. This is so good it surpasses the complete lack of IBU’s. Fuck I cant believe I am staking so much praise on a New Belgium beer, but they deserve it.
  • + Buy again

Uinta Brewing Company – Dubhe Imperial Black IPA (American Black Ale)

  • 9.20% ABV
  • This making me pretty happy, it is a good beer that is totally good and makes me remember why I love Black IPA’s. So bitter… So dark… But in this case it is not very black, bormally that doesnt bother me but I kind of want a black IPA to be black. This is more of a really deep brown. Uhhh… I am being a bitch, this is a really good beer that makes my taste buds start fucking each other, but in a good way… I was going to make a taste bud rape metaphor… but as awesome as this tastes there is never a good way to make a rape reference! Rape is bad. Dont do it!
  • + Buy again.


Rogue Ales – Mom Hefeweizen (Witbier)

  • 4.80% ABV
  • M1 and I are in a for real argument about what this is. She loves it so much she refuses to believe that this is a Wit and it is making her really angry that it is a Wit. what ever it is pretty good and I am really enjoying it. It is a Wit +1 (on the taste scale) and I understand why M1 is so passionate about it. We have had this beer like 7 or 8 times and I never tried it. All the while M1 was drinking the shit out of it and loving it and I can see why. Try this shit, it made us fight, not over how good it is but what style it is. And for M1 and I to fight over something must mean it is good.
  • + Buy again


Uinta Brewing Company – Wyld Extra Pale Ale (American Pale Ale)

  • 4.00% ABV
  • This f’ing beer smells so good I just poured it up my nose in an effort to capture its sent all up in my face hole.For real, it tastes like Justin Timberlake dipped his dick in liquid gold and put in the ass that is my mouth. Trust me when I say that that is the highest complement I can give. JT is the man I am going to divorce M1 for him… and I fucking love her with every fiber of my being. This beer is really really good. Try it.
  • + Buy again.