Monthly Archives: June 2012

DuClaw Brewing Company – Hellrazer

  • 7.50% ABV
  • Well this tastes like butts. More accurately butts covered in sugar because this is way to sweet to be an IPA. Get it?!?! That’s a sugar covered butt joke son, keep up. But(t) anyway this is really a bad beer. It pretty much tastes like shit, for fucks sake this is really sweet. Like fucking gross sweet. I cant really emphasise how not good this is, which is strange because DuClaw is a fucking power house brewer.
  • – Dont buy

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Dogfish Head Craft Brewery – Miles Davis’ Bitches Brew (Imperial Stout)

  • 9.00% ABV
  • God damn it I hate Dogfish! Every time I have one of their beers I get a preconception of what is is going to taste like in my head and I wrong 2 times out of 3. As you can guess I was wrong this time. I for real thought this was going to taste like shit, but fuck me in the ass with my own face if this isnt awesome. It is a smooth malty sexual attack of my sense of reality. Right, well obviously I like this but why??? Why??? Well mostly because it has an awesome malt goodness that is good despite all of the crazy ass ingredients that Dogfish put into this crazy ass good beer. You might not taste the ABV in it but holy crap this review took like an hour to write. I blame the awesome taste and the undetectable ABV for making this a shitty review.
  • + Buy again

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Deschutes Brewery – Black Butte Porter (American Porter)

  • 5.20% ABV
  • Yay!!! Another porter. The “Yay” is for porters because, well they are awesome. This is a Deschutes and normally that means amazing, but this time it is just really good. Of course it is really hard to make a porter stand out without crossing the “What the fuck did you do to the style???” line. Any way this a really good, true to style porter that makes me happy. It also makes me sad that I have to special order Deschutes over the internet. I want that shit in Virginia.
  • + Buy again.

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Dogfish Head Craft Brewery – Urkontinent

  • 8.10% ABV
  • This is a malt bomb that sneaks into your mouth and then a couple seconds latter it… EXPLODES!!! For real it is like the 1980’s IRA just realized that my taste buds are Tory sympathizers and my mouth must be destroyed with subtle malts. My only complaint is the price of the ABV. While this beer is good it isnt worth the fall over 8.10%
  • – Dont buy

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Terrapin Beer Company – Phlux Capacitor (American Strong Ale)

  • 9.80% ABV
  • Well at least it has an awesome name. HA! that was a misleading statement because this is actually a really good beer. And I mean it in the strictest of the term BEER. It isnt like a Imperial Russian and it isnt like a IPA. It has hops and malts but they are balanced to perfection. They are both really strong but at least they are balanced? What ever. This is a pretty good strong ass beer that I am enjoying like I enjoy all Terrapin’s
  • + Buy again.

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Clown Shoes – Vampire Slayer (Imperial Stout)

  • 10.00% ABV
  • There is for real Holy Water in this beer. Like splash in the face of a Vampire and it will die Holy Water. Which is obviously reflected in the name of the beer. But for fucks sake there is real Catholic¬† Holy Water here. On the plus side there is a lot of really good stout going on here. Clown Shoes really shines through again as an excellent brewer, this is a style I dont really like but I am enjoying it. It is a STOUT and it hits all of the right notes in a way I am enjoying. It is pretty good
  • + Buy again (If you want a stout)

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Devils Backbone Brewing Company – Eight Point IPA (American IPA)

  • 5.90% ABV
  • I probably wont try and nominate the beer as the president of Egypt because while it isnt the best IPA I have ever had, it is good and it doesn’t deserve that aggravation (HA! topical humour!). What makes this really good is that it is brewed in Virginia and the more breweries in my state the better. To be fair this is quite tasty and it is the second time I have bought it. I guess that counts for something.
  • + Buy again

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Roanoke Railhouse Brewery – Railhouse IPA (American IPA)

  • 7.00% ABV
  • God damn it!!! I am 100% sure that this is a fucking awesome beer. It has a weird ass non-standard IPA taste, that in this case makes it stand out. And for once, not in a bad way. Nothing I say after this will adequately describe how good this is. For real! The next thing I say will make no sense… This is a an IPA with a sweetness that actually makes it stupendous. Sweet ass malt taste with a slight punch of (muted) hops. Holy shit! I am going to review this again because it is so god damn good. It is sweet???
  • + Buy again

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Clown Shoes – Chocolate Sombrero (Imperial Stout)

  • 9.00% ABV
  • Word…. I dont care for stouts but for fucks sake this is a pretty good. It is strange as shit tasting, but in a good way. As soon as I tried it it was all like “WHHHAAATTT????” Yes just like a 1991 sit-com catch phrase. I am pretty sure I comically bulged my eyeballs at the same time in order to emphasise the absurdity of the taste. It has the normal deep ass malt taste up front like all stouts but then (wait for it).¬† POW!!! Weird ass tastes that meld into sex in your mouth. Right of the bat I told M1 there was something spicy going on and the I took it back because while it was all up in my face it was still subtle enough that I was uncertain that it was there. Oh it is there, in a insidious back of your reptile brain way. So sly… so furtive… Those god damned ancho chillies. Making the taste so odd and so good. What ever, I hate stouts and this is good.
  • + Buy again

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Mikkeller – I Beat YoU (American Double)

  • 9.75% ABV
  • This tastes like an Imperial… For real , I am sure this would probably be a good beer if they turned it down of couple of notches. It is just a little to Imperial-ly, it has a strong alcohol smell – taste to it that overwhelms the taste of a good ass beer. Well for the most part… to be honest this is a beer that could be good… But it isnt, there is to much ABV. Damn it, I would go into much more detail as to why I dont like it but M1 is talking all at my face.
  • – Dont buy

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Boston Beer Company – Norse Legend (Sahti)

  • 7.00% ABV
  • This tastes nothing like the Dogfish Head Sahti, nothing at all. This is actually kind of good. I imagine it tastes nothing like a traditional Sahti but pay no mind to that… This is actually good. I am happy to drink this as a beer. Not happy to drink this as an architectural recreation of something brewed a 1000 years ago. Because lets be honest, everything from a 1,000 years ago sucks balls. Do you like the plague??? They had it. Do you like rape and murder? They had it. Basically everything from the past sucks ass.Which makes this beer awesome… Deep enjoyable malts, with a crisp hop smell that never bleeds over into the taste. Ummm… This is pretty good.
  • + Buy again

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